and it begins...

it hit like the santa anna winds this year.

"mom, why don't i get to play video games as much as i want to like my friends?"
"why can't i have a DS? all my friends have one."
"my friends get to watch as much TV as they want."
"i want to play medal of honor like my friends do."

all this from my 8 year old son. finally, i looked at him and said, "what makes you think i am raising you to be like everyone else?"

i knew this day would come. i have dreaded its arrival. i have tried to ward it off. but it is here. Will has taken a look around him and realized that he is different from other kids his age. for him it feels uncomfortable, like pants that are just a little bit too short. all he wants is to be like everyone else.

i understand the tension. we all do. we have all been there at some point. i didn't get designer clothes; it was hunter's club for me instead of polo. i never got to wear converse tennis shoes, the first time they were in style. i always wanted a big wheel like all the other kids on my block. for a kid, these are big issues. and i'm learning that for a parent they are too.

i'm not trying to be mean or withholding or just tight with money. my aim isn't to make him different just to be different. i am just not content for Will to be like everyone else, not when being Will is so amazing. he loves to read, draw, build legos, play with friends, dress like a cowboy, throw the football, tackle his mom, make people laugh and annoy his brother. i am not willing to trade any of that in so that he can play on a handheld device for hours. well, maybe i would trade in the annoying his brother part.

i want him to see and experience a world of wonder, not blood and profanity via a wii remote. i want him to create and use his imagination, not sit like a zombie in front of a tv. i want him to run, climb, jump, laugh and play so hard that he collapses at night with a smile on his face. i want my kid to be a kid. is that too much to ask?

if i am honest, i have to admit that this is a hard road to walk. sometimes i am tired. sometimes i do let my kids watch too much tv simply because i am too tired to interact with them. my life would be easier if they would just play a video game all day while i did whatever i wanted. but we have such a short window of time to influence our children, to give them a taste of something different, to create space for them to be themselves. my job is to help Will be Will because that is who God made him to be. this is in part what it means to disciple my child, to point him towards the One i do want him to be like--Jesus. (but that is another post entirely!)

so we talk about it. i explain why i haven't bought him a DS and why he can't watch TV for hours and hours. he gives me sad, droopy eyes that tell me "it's not fair". thankfully, he doesn't argue or storm off in a huff. at least not yet. rather, he starts playing, forgetting in mere seconds the injustice of his situation. and let me tell you friends, when i hear that one-of-a-kind laugh and see those eyes light up and that dimple grow in size, i have all the confirmation that i need.