an enticing invitation

things changed drastically for us right before we moved back to the states. a church we had helped to start over a decade ago had offered to put us up in house during our year of exile from france. we gratefully took them up on their offer. not only did it put us in our hometown, meaning the town where scott and i met and married, but it also gave us an opportunity to join up with a community of people who we knew viewed church in a similar way. a month before we moved back that church closed her doors. thankfully they still provided a home for us but the community we thought we were going to join no longer existed.

we never wanted to look for a church. we are here for a year and the thought of looking for a place to join for such a short time was discouraging. plus, we came back from france feeling a little beat up and nearing burnout. we just needed a place to relax for a bit, a place to be loved on, a place where we could do some healing. instead we came back to no church home and had no desire to find one.

of course one of the first questions we got asked as we made the rounds seeing friends was "what church are you going to?" we would explain our situation and then inevitably our friend would launch into why we should visit their church. we would hear about what programs they had going on, what made their church different from other churches, and what they loved about their church. it was fun to watch people try to get us excited about visiting their church. i think it is good that people love where they go and that they want to encourage others to come along. everyone should love where they go to church.

the problem is that nothing they said enticed me to want to visit. now we can explore all the reasons why. there is the reverse culture shock i have described to you in other posts. there is just the preference i carry for smaller, more intimate settings. there is the underlying conviction that one church really isn't that much different from another. (for those of you who just argued with me and said, "oh yes there is," i ask you: do you start your service with music? do you have some announcements? does a pastor or elder preach a sermon? does some lead everyone else in prayer? styles may vary but the format in most churches is the same....)

yesterday i had a very different reaction to a lady's invitation to visit her church.

during a birthday party that wyatt went to i got into a conversation with a lady that went beyond mere small talk. she began to open up and talk about the difficult path she had walked the past few years and what God has done in her life as a result. it was a sacred moment, one where God was present and we both sensed it. at the end, she asked the same question i get so often. she asked where i went to church. after telling her about our situation, she invited me to visit her church. she told me that the church was just a group of people trying to authentically live out their faith. they were a multi-ethnic group who tended to appeal to those who struggled with addictions. she said it wasn't anything fancy but that the people really loved and looked out for each other.

it wasn't until later that i realized why this lady's description of her church had peaked my interest. when she talked about her church, she didn't talk in terms of programs, events and style. she didn't tell me about the church's small groups or discipleship program. she didn't talk about how gifted a speaker her pastor was. she talked in terms of WHO her church was rather than in terms of WHAT her church did. whether intentionally or not, she described her church in terms of a living organism as opposed to an impersonal organization.

regardless of what some people think, i'm not opposed to organized and traditional church. i'm opposed to people being more committed to a building than to a lifestyle. if we can be the church at a church then i'm all for it. if not, well then i'm just not that interested.

when in rome...

i have been gone just long enough. just long enough for what you ask? i have just been gone just long enough to stand out a bit even in my home state. i feel like a piece of a puzzle that has been ransacked by a toddler. 3 of the 4 sides still fit perfectly with the other pieces. but that 4th side, well, it is so worn, so chewed up, so frazzled by miniature hands that it no longer fits into the hole prepared for it. it stands out.

am i a foreigner in my own country?

i was invited to a birthday lunch at a tea room the other day. now i must admit, i have never frequented tea rooms. to me a tea room lunch usually means small portions at large prices. but i went. it was in celebration of a good friend's birthday, 7 months later i might add but that is beside the point. when we got there, i discovered that the tea room was in the back of a christmas store. the plan was to wander around the christmas wonderland gazing at overpriced santas until time for the tea room to open. i sauntered around, enjoyed the christmas music, feigned interest in christmas tree skirts and tried with all my might to pretend that the plastic trees were alive.

i saw one of them and thought it was an aberration. when i saw a second and a third, well i started to get worried. all around me were older women wearing red hats and some sort of purple outfit. i looked at my companions and threw out the jab, "did you see that hat? you gotta be brave to wear that outside the house." my friends just looked at me with a quizzical expression on their faces. finally when they realized that i really was clueless they explained that what i was seeing was a local chapter of the red hat society.

in that moment i learned something new about my home culture. i was so fascinated by the movement that i eagerly assaulted one of the ladies and pelted her with questions about the origins and objectives of this society. while kindly answering all my questions, my new best friend looked at me like i had been living in a hole. close, i have been living in france.

and that's not all.

yesterday i called to rsvp for a party Will had been invited to. i wasn't sure that my message had been recorded on the person's voice mail so i called back to verify. i didn't want to show up at the party unannounced. tonight i got a call from her confirming that she had gotten BOTH of my messages. she gave me directions and said, "thank you for rsvping. no one does that anymore."

no one rsvps anymore? why wasn't i told? the invitation asks for a rsvp. it even gives me a number to do so. it would never have occurred to me NOT to rsvp.

i expected to be a learner when i moved to france. that was a no brainer. i even expected to be a learner here in crowley when it became apparent that most of the people i would be running into on a daily basis were hispanic. when i go to play soccer, i take notes because i'm the only non-hispanic on my team. i sit back and watch how they greet one another with a kiss on the right cheek. i watch and learn. you know what they say, "when in rome...."

i just never thought that texas would be my rome.

PLAY!

i love to play.

that may not come as a surprise to those of you who know me well. when i am with a group, when i am surrounded by people, my playful side comes out. it could surface in just being silly and having fun. it might show up in a card or board game. i might spontaneously break out into song or dance. or i might just engage you in a bit of playful verbal sparring.

i love to play and i realized the other day that i haven't been playing enough lately. to remedy said situation, i decided to sign up for an indoor soccer league. wyatt's coach plays on a team and she invited me to join. i enthusiastically agreed.

me love soccer. i always have. i played up until high school when i was growing up (yes this was before soccer became an official sport in the schools.) and then i traded in my cleats for a tennis racket. but you must know, my heart missed soccer. it was without question my favorite sport. i loved playing on a team. i loved the thrill of competition. i loved to run and kick and score and get muddy and come home exhausted and flop into my bed with a big smile. i loved it all.

so i am playing again.

we had our first game sunday night and when i wasn't sucking wind, i was smiling. it felt so good to compete, to be on a team, to kick a ball. there was shoving, running and high fiving, all the things i love in a good team sport. i went home flushed, exhausted and happy. it was then i knew that it had been far too long since i had cut loose and really played. i'm not going to let that happen anymore.

why do we think play is less important the older we get? does growing up mean we have to stop playing? who says? who made that rule? i think it is a dumb rule and i refuse to follow it. i want to play. i need to play.

i could give you a bunch of reasons why it is good to play. we could talk about play being a way to relieve stress. the physical activity itself is good for us. it gets us up and moving, gets our blood pumping, our juices flowing. socially, play can get us in touch with others. it can draw us into relationship around a shared love for a sport or hobby. all good reasons to play.

how about play as praise? as celebration? one of my favorite things to do as a mom is watch my kids play. i mean the kind of play when they are completely entranced and unaware of anything around them. they shriek. they giggle. they loose themselves in total abandonment and pleasure in their play. it makes my heart soar to watch them.

could God feel the same about us when we play, when we engage in the things that make our eyes sparkle and mouths smile? does he take pleasure in our pleasure?

dallas willard in his book the Spirit of the Disciplines says this, "we dishonor God as much by fearing and avoiding pleasure as we do by dependence upon it or living for it." God created pleasure. yes it can be abused as anything in his creation can be, but that doesn't mean we should avoid it. he wants us to play. he wants us to enjoy life. he wants us to dance and sing and throw a football.

so go play! i don't care how old you are or what "responsibilities" you have. get off your duff. turn off your computer. go do something that makes the child in you come to life.

searching for a true oasis

"the historic first baptist church of dallas on sunday announced one of the country's largest church building programs; a $130 million project to revamp its six-block campus near the downtown cultural arts district. 'if jerry jones can spend $1.5 billion to build a temple to the god of sports 13 miles away, we can build a spiritual oasis in the heart of dallas,' the rev. robert jeffress, senior pastor, told a filled sanctuary. members stood to show approval for the fundraising campaign after Jeffress said it was 'sign from God' that $62 million has already been pledged."

i attacked this post initially with much vigor and righteous indignation. when i read the above article all i could think about was how ridiculous it all was, this wasteful use of money. i wanted to blast this american trend that appears to be built on nothing more than pride, a modern tower of babel, monuments to pastors of fleeting popularity. then i stopped. i began to reread. i deleted. who is being arrogant? am i? who am i to say what God told Rev. Jeffress to build or not build? i wasn't there. i don't know his heart.

the truth is that my theology and especially my ecclesiology has been french fried. living in europe has changed my view of church entirely. i have a harder time doing church here and now, in this country, because of it. i have seen a different reality. some would even say i have seen the future of america by living in europe. if so, then maybe some of my observations could be seen as a check, as accountability on the american way of doing church. i ask as one who is concerned....

the most startling fact in the article is the amount of money to be spent to renovate a building that is, at best, used 2-3 times a week. how a church spends her money reflects her values. the question in the forefront must always be, are we being good stewards of the money God has given to us? how does he want it used? we have to look at scripture to determine his values. the bible talks in great detail about giving to the less fortunate. in fact over 2000 verses in the bible deal with the church's role in taking care of the poor and powerless. 130 million dollars would go a long way to help alleviate societal tragedies such as poverty. i heard the other day on the news that the government is withdrawing major funding for shelters for abused women. wonder what 130 million could do in that arena? what if we were so gripped by a kingdom perspective that we did all we could to direct our God given resources into making our cities, our states and the world a healthier place for all? true religion, as James says, is that we take care of the widows and orphans.

instead we build a building.

i have been to the most impressive churches and cathedrals in the world. living in europe gives you access to most of them. they are breathtaking in their beauty, artistry and size. at one time they were built with the aim of representing the glory and splendor of God. that was then. now they are empty, musty tourist traps that minister to a handful of elderly parishioners each week. in cities many of these historical churches have been changed into pubs, restaurants and hotels. what warnings would these sacred shells want to whisper in our contemporary ears? are we guilty of investing more in programs, events and buildings than we are in people?

later in the article, a man in the church is quoted as saying that this building project is necessary to reach the next generation. i was stunned. i fear that our leaders and pastors are not in touch with that which concerns my generation and those following after me. my friends, believers and unbelievers alike, are concerned with many things and building an oasis in the middle of downtown is NOT one of them. we are concerned about social injustice. we want to do our part to help, to be part of the solution. when talking about our spiritual lives, though we don't feel that is a separate category from our "normal" lives, we speak of community, of learning how to live out our faith in practical, transformational ways in our neighborhoods, at our jobs, and in our classrooms. we want to dialogue about faith and doctrine instead of being spoon fed what to believe. we want a gritty faith, one that pulsates with life and authenticity in good times and bad. one that exudes an aroma that is attractive to those seeking lasting answers.

the only building project we want a part of is with organizations like habitat for humanity.

i don't think the world is impressed with our big churches. i don't think God gives a flip whether we worship him in a rented space on a strip mall or in a home. i think he did away with the temple for a reason.

we are his temple. his spirit lives in us. it's time to stop building churches and time to start being the church. we don't need to create an oasis, we need to be an oasis. this world is a desert. people are thirsty for living water. they won't find it in brick and mortar. they will find it in us, his living temple, his walking oasis.

trick or treat

halloween. ahhh how i love it. since moving to france we have only been in the States one time for halloween. we have missed carving pumpkins, dressing up and making ourselves sick on candy. i have especially missed that for my boys. this year they got to do it all!

the boys designed the pumpkin face and i carved it.

we felt like a mean face was needed to make the incisions.

we are all very frightened by this very NOT scary pumpkin.

halloween morning started with some cartoon watching, all the boys together.

the costumes: cowboy, french fries and a pirate.

(if you don't get the subtle symbolism of my costume then you have never noticed the title of this blog.)

we went to a party at mark and leslie's. many children and much yummy paella.

are they cute or what?

wyatt looks back for clarification on what to do.

we had a great night. we still can't explain how a pumpkin walked into the boys' room and started singing "them bones" though......oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

baseball anyone?

well, it is official. i'm not raising another Pele. after almost an entire season of soccer i think it is safe to say that my kids don't have a natural affinity for the sport. apparently being born in france doesn't give one the "gift."

Wyatt has improved some. at least now he doesn't run off the field crying and begging me to not make him play. instead, he looks at the grass, admires the bugs, stomps his feet in the water and pretends to be a helicopter. i guess you could say that he doesn't have his head in the game. on the off chance that he is paying attention, he trots behind the swarm of boys surrounding the ball. oh he has no intention of actually touching the ball, he just decides every now to look like he is trying. i have never actually seen him kick the ball, unless you count the couple of times the ball accidentally bounced off his foot.

do you see wyatt in the background?

and Will. well, let's just say he's a faller. the ball comes his way. he falls down. when he takes a swipe at the ball, especially when it is clearly out of reach, he falls down. if another child even makes the slightest contact, yep, you guessed it, he falls down. he did play goalie a couple of times and did really well. so maybe we need to concentrate on that.

boo to you boob tube!

i've just now put my finger on what is bothering me. for days now, i have felt skittish, unsettled and a bit unnerved. i knew that these feelings were symptoms of culture stress, but i couldn't find the words and/or images to explain what was at the source of my discontent. it came to me yesterday while i was eating lunch at a restaurant with a friend.

it's all the TVs.

yeah you heard me, the TVs. what in the world is the obsession in this country with TVs? everywhere i go there is a TV screen. go to a restaurant and there they are in every corner. go to any office and they are there. i have even seen them by elevators so people don't get bored while waiting the 10 seconds it takes for a lift to get there. they are in malls, in schools, in churches, in airports and of course in every bedroom in america.

and just so you know, it isn't the enormous waste of resources and money that gets my blood boiling. it is all the darn NOISE. all the DISTRACTION.

i am no stranger to noise. i have lived in cities of over a million for the past decade. urban life is filled with the constant noise of people and transportation. but it's different here. in america the noise is unnecessary. it has been added. it is gratuitous. you walk into a restaurant filled with a hundred or so people already talking loudly and what do you do? you add more noise. you turn up the music. you turn on the TV.

and this phenomena isn't exclusive to public places. when we first arrived back, we made the rounds to see friends we hadn't seen in awhile. i can't tell you how many times we were ushered into the living room, invited to sit down on the couch and then expected to catch up while the TV raged in the background.

i hate it. i really detest it.

my question is why? why do americans feel the need to fill in any silence? are we afraid of the vulnerability that quietness brings? could it be that we are afraid to listen to our own hearts or the hearts of others? have we become so numbed by mindless entertainment that we no longer have the stomach for real interaction?

sensory rape is the root of my culture stress.

i miss the way the frenchies intuitively understand that quietness encourages relationship. i love that when i go to dinner either in a restaurant or in some one's home that all i hear is the low pitched murmur of conversation. in a cafe, i can sit and look into the eyes of a friend and not compete with artificial entertainment. i miss the comfortable feel of relationship lived out with the gift of undivided attention.

so turn off the TV! sit. breathe. enjoy people. that would really help me out.....